Mega Hunger Games Review

When a movie adaptation of one of the biggest young adult series in history brings in the third biggest opening weekend of all time, you just know the movie is too big for just one reviewer. As such, several of us here at the Red Shirt Crew would like to give you our thoughts on the movie that has taken over the popular culture: The Hunger Games.

The Aesthetics of The Hunger Games

In which the visuals of the Hunger Games world are analyzed.

Red Shirt Podcast #16 with Chris and Kyle from No Right Answer!

So, Doc Watson and I got Chris Pranger and Kyle Martinak on for a podcast. What follows is two hours of concentrated awesome. Check it out!

Wrestlemania XXVIII Preview

 Will The Streak Continue? Will the Rock break? Will The Big Show choke?  See what I have to say about all of these questions and more in my Wrestlemania Preview.

Back in Your Head #1: "Always" by Erasure

(image copyright adult swim) 

I know that there are some of you out there that will immediately want to murder me for even showing you that image.  I'm sorry.  I have to tell you why this song gets stuck in your head.  I know this because it's starting for me, too.  I'm blaring my hipster music over my speakers.  My neighbors must think I'm the worst type of person, or that I'm attempting to cover up some other noise.

From the Armory: Snapfire and N-Strike Elite Rumors

This week, Kernel Sanders examines the Nerf Snapfire and speculates on the N-Strike Elite.

Why Harry Potter missed his calling as a priest

Magic is without a doubt one of the most popular phenomena in Fantasy culture today. I myself am quite a fan of magic in its various forms. But many people overlook or are mildly ignorant of the fascinating history behind the origins and popularity of magic. My confession this week is part 1 of an eventual 2 part post on why magic is so fascinating.

GameRx: Streets of Sim City (1997)

Today, Doc Watson prescribes 40 cc's of Maxis with Streets of SimCity, another fantastic classic game.

Libby's Embarrassing Poetry Problem

This week, Libby tries to read poetry for fun. How does it go? Read more to find out

Puzzle games, and what is to come

Hey everybody, Junior Varsity here!

Now if you're like me, and shooters aren't always your thing, you probably like some different types of games involving strategy. I myself am an addict of puzzle games. So today I'm going to tell you about some of them.

21 Jump Street Review

So, this weekend I had finally gone to see a movie in theatres; it felt like forever since I had seen a new movie. I decided on 21 Jump Street, hearing some positive things about it (an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes) and just wanting to see a really funny movie that would make me laugh! So many movies are marketed as being "R-rated funny" but end up being just really stupid an dumb. But I decided to take my chances with this one.

Interview: Brian Clevinger

In December 2011, I interviewed Brian Clevinger for VCU's Sci-Fi &Fantasy club. We recorded it. Here it is!


http://soundcloud.com/redshirtcrewpodcasts/brian-clevinger-interview


-Super Jew, AWAAAAAAAY!

Comfortably Grim: Or, In Which I Explore Legend Further

Today, I played a game with Legend head honcho Jake Kurzer, one of the editors and playtesters Hank West, and none other than Brian Clevinger (of 8Bit Theater and Atomic Robo fame) and Rob Balder (of Erfworld fame). We turned into Miniature Macross Missile Machines and blew up an evil research facility. Oh, and I guess there might have been some story behind this too, but it was hard to hear it over the sound of how awesome we were.

On the Indoctrination Theory

Yesterday, I discussed how Bioware's actions may have set the industry back a decade as an art form. Today, I address a topic that could make it even worse.

Why Mass Effect 3 Has Changed the Industry Forever

Having never played any of the Mass Effect games, I am going to break down the recent controversy and why Bioware's actions have set the industry back ten years. What could possibly go wrong?

Apologies to My Unborn Children Regarding My Geeky Name Choices (But At Least I Saved You From Being Named Aldous!)

Just because that name worked well for your D&D character does not mean it will work well for your child, even if you do give her archery lessons and a green cloak.

GameRx: Dark Colony (1997)

Hey, folks! Doc Watson here, finally starting up a column here on the site. Here in GameRx, I’m writing up prescriptions for older games for your consideration. Hopefully you’ll look into these little gems from the past of gaming and give them a spin to see if they work for you.

Today, I’m prescribing Dark Colony, a quality real-time strategy game (RTS) from 1997 made by GameTek.

A Different Sort of "Dungeons"

You descend down the hall slowly and carefully. This room seems empty, for now. You prep your crossbow, however, just to be safe. Carefully avoiding the arrow trap nearby, you open the set of wooden doors in front of you. Suddenly, a horde of bats appears! Luckily, you've fought monsters like these before, so you pick them off one by one, not missing a shot. As the last of them drops to the ground, something else catches your eye- a simple chest, sitting by its lonesome. Bashing it open, you are overcome with joy upon discovering what’s inside- a pair of parachute pants! Not only will they improve your dodging greatly, but they’ll also go great with your rocket boots and magical sombrero. If anything, at least you’ll go out in style.

Welcome… to Dungeons of Dredmor.

The Second Confession: Dragons Everywhere!!

Lots of people collect things. Some people collect action figures, others collect trading cards. Me? I collect dragons.

Red Shirt Podcast #14: Future of Video Gaming

This week on the podcast, we discuss the future of gaming, including zombies, RPGs, RTSs, MMORPGs, and FPSs. Also, hilarity ensues. Enjoy!

In Defense of not Defending My Little Pony

This is a repost from the VCU Skiffy website.

I want to preface this by saying that this is a tongue-in-cheek response to a blog post made by our friends at The Red Shirt Crew titled “In Defense of My Little Pony”, which is pretty much just another post made by a Bronie to convince us that My Little Pony is made of rainbows and sexiness.  Or something.  No hard feelings, guys.

How Mr. and Mrs. Eddings Inspired my Childhood

Hey, this is Junior Varsity. I haven't done a review for a while now due to season one of ATS, but now that's on hiatus (a divine word), so here I am to tell you about one of my favorite childhood series: David Eddings' The Belgariad. Comprised of the first row of books pictured above, it was followed by the sequel series The Malloreon (pictured in the second row). Both are awesome.

Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back Review

So, two weeks ago, I reviewed Space Chimps. It didn't end well. It took me two weeks to regain my sanity, and what do I do? Of course, I reviewed it's horrible, horrible sequel. I blame my inherent masochism...

Legend: The RPG You Should Be Playing

Depending on where you go on the Interwebs, you may or may not have heard of a little pen and paper RPG called Legend. (If you haven't, go click DAT link, or read on and come back to it.) It was originally released with all proceeds from the sale of the PDF of the rules going to Child's Play charity, and raised nigh-on 13 grand doing so. It's an exercise in making a d20 game off of the chassis of D&D without actually having it be D&D at all, and the results are interesting, to say the least.

Justice League: Doom Review

Hey everyone!  This is my first (hopefully of many) posts here, and of course, it's a movie review.  First of all, I'd like to say that this review will contain mild spoilers.  I'll mark then when they pop up, but if you feel strongly about watching movies before listening to people complain about them, you should probably just go pick up this movie now.  Seriously, it's good.  

J.K. Rowling's New Book

...is coming out "later this year". And that, my friends, means that it's time for theories!

Kindly look at this site before you do anything else. (That is, if you've been living under a rock and have never seen it before! I've seen about seventy thousand times myself. Each time, I hope it will tell me something new. It never does.)

Of Game Reviews

Hoo boy! It's been a good time for gamers lately, travelers, with the obvious cheered and jeered Mass Effect 3, Resident Evil 6 coming up, Fall of the Samurai in line, (personally I'm anticipating Magna Mundi, Risen 2, Dragon's Dogma), and such events. Yeah, Mass Effect 3 has people whining about the ending, but I don't care. I haven't played it so it doesn't affect me! Ha-ha!

Contraband

Alright, here we go again, another amazing movie review from none other than the Pierced Beanie.  This week, I am reviewing Contraband.  It is Mark Wahlberg's newest film, and it is pretty good.  It also stars Ben Foster and Giovanni Ribisi.  The premise of the movie is that Wahlberg's brother-in-law gets in over his head after a drug run goes wrong, and he has to ditch the stuff.  People decide he owes them now, and they will go after anyone to get what they feel they deserve.  When that means going after his family, Wahlberg gets involved,  and, well, we know how that works out in most of his movies. There's no  disappointment on that front.  I only had two issues, and one of them might of been the theater's fault and  not the fault of the movie itself.  First,  Giovanni Ribisi sounded like a redneck gangster, and that was just stupid. Your voice is already weird enough; don’t throw in multiple accents and dialects to make it sound any more messed up.  Second, the picture looked grainy, like they were trying to make it seem darker or something, and I just wasn’t feeling it.  But other then those two things,  it is a pretty good movie. I suggest checking it out once it hits DVD.

Okay, so, I also realize that most of my reviews are of movies that are no longer in theaters, but thats okay.  Also I apologize to you all if you expect more reading, I will do my best to maybe add more to these as the days go by.  For now this is the Pierced Beanie saying til next time.

The Most Skiffy-worthy Movie Skiffy Can't Show

Hey all. I've had several discussions with people on what exactly constitutes a "Skiffy Movie". For the purposes of this post, I'm defining a Skiffy Movie as:

-A movie that is either or both firmly in the science fiction/fantasy genres.
-A movie that someone in Skiffy would probably watch.
-A movie you could see being done in MST3K.
-A movie that is more likely than not So Bad It's Good.
-A movie that more likely than not has manass.

Now, that being said, every year the President of Skiffy reminds everyone that there are two other qualifications to nominate a movie in Skiffy: The movie must actually exist, and the movie must not be pornographic. Unfortunately, it is that last classification that prevents this movie from being shown.

Now I can hear some of you hollering: Whoa whoa whoa! Adam is going to review a porno on this site?! WHAT IS THIS. Well no, no I'm not. But there are parts of this movie that are much too intensely sexual to be displayed at any Skiffy meeting. And do you know why? Because it's an 80's Hard R-rated Film. A Hard R is a movie that is very obviously an R rated film, and is probably too intense to be shown on TV without severe editing and probably dropping a few scenes. In the 80's, you could still have frontal nudity in R rated films, and also egregious manass. Hell, the first minute of this film has some (rather unappealing) naked breasts right out there for everyone to see.

So what IS this mystery film, I hear you ask. Re-Animator, the moviefilm based off of H.P. Lovecraft's "Herbert West - Reanimator." Despite the events of the movie having only the vaguest of relation to the original story, this movie has everything one of us would want: Zombies, 80's-ified love plots, sex (there IS a little on-scene sex, which is another reason this movie probably wouldn't fly), mad science, and then...well, all of those converge into one of the creepiest almost-rape scenes I've ever seen. Without spoiling too much: there is a scene where the female lead is strapped to a table, naked, and the main zombie antagonist (who, unlike other zombie films, is actually intelligent, and is actually reanimated both as a head and as a body separately), proceeds to begin to do perverse things to her until the heroes show up to stop him from doing something so absolutely gross I don't even want to think of it.

However. I would say this movie is highly worth it to watch. It goes back and forth between being gruesomely bloody and absolutely hilarious (think Evil Dead 2, maybe bloodier). It just so happens that there are not only some super-sexual scenes (and a whole lot of manass), and one of them is very, very creepy and probably not good for someone who is prone to triggers from abuse like rape.

As a side note, I highly recommend you go read the original Herbert West - Reanimator story as well, which you can find online for free right here.

-Super Jew, AWAAAAAAY!

Arcade Fire!

Yeah. I'm totally jumping on the bandwagon. Arcade Fire is great. And I also know that I'm way late to the party, considering how long these guys have been around for, and considering they made the big leagues and achieved "mainstream" success after winning Album of the Year at last year's Grammys. I mean, I knew they had that one song, "Wake Up," that was in the "Where the Wild Things Are" trailer and then suddenly everyone knew about it. Even still, it wasn't until I heard that song performed in a talent show some months later that I found out it was actually this group called "Arcade Fire" that wrote that catchy, anthem-y song. So from then on I acted like I totally knew who Arcade Fire was, even though I only knew one song. Kinda lame, I know, but in classic hipster fashion, I wanted to know who they were before they got cool. But I still only knew that one song! And I didn't make any effort to check them out further, even when my little brother shared some links with me. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago when I was working in the scenery construction shop at school and I heard a song I liked playing on Pandora...and it was Arcade Fire! A song called "Rebellion (Lies)" that now I can't stop listening to. Really, it's kind of ridiculous how many times I've played it on repeat. But since I've discovered this wonderful song (which I have linked at the bottom on this article) it has led me to look for more songs, and yeah, they're great, yeah, they use dope instruments and arrangements, and yeah, I jumped on the bandwagon. And I love it. So if you only know "Wake Up" you should definitely check out some of their other songs! Some reccomendations: Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels), Crown of Love, Neighborhood #3 (Power Outage), and The Suburbs.
Happy Tuesday!

We have a Twitter!

So, I went and locked myself in my dorm room today so that I could get a good bit of studying done for my Philosophy midterm tomorrow. Instead, I made a twitter account. Go me?

In all seriousness, if you have a twitter, feel free to follow us at https://twitter.com/RedShirtCrew. I'll use it to announce everything we post, and also give some insight into any big changes going on. Oh, and I might try to be humorous every once in a while. Who knows?


Hope to see you there!

In Which Civilization V is the best game ever made.

Things I planned to do this spring break: work on my cross-stitching project, make friendship bracelets, watch television, finish Pokemon Black, finish Storm of Swords.

Things I did this spring break: ALL THE CIVILIZATION LYUGRQEUHIFHESULGYFTK!!!!!

Confessions of a (C)overt Nerd.....the first Confession

Hello all! First time writing, in the blog, though not the first time I've ever written/ranted/spoken about the various things I will talk about.

Apparently, people who don't know me all that well are very shocked to discover exactly how much of a nerd I am, or, that I'm even a nerd at all. Yeah, I know, I don't get it either, but, hey. People are silly sometimes. And I guess I just don't seem that overtly nerdy?

Well, I decided to take some time every week, to share with you all some of my favorite nerdy things, and also the reasons why I like them. Yes, I'll admit it. I, Angel in the Mirror, am a nerd. And I have been for several years now (I've lost track of how many exactly....but that's hardly the issue here). So, think of this column as a type of share time.....of a sort. One nerd to another.

Okay, so, today's confession. Or, share time, if you would. I have one word for you all. Vampires.

Now, before you jump down my throat and bombard me with questions like, "Well, there are so many different types of vampires, which ones are you talking about?" "What about True Blood?" "You're NOT a Twilight fan are you???" (and then jump onto the requisite negative statements about Twilight) I ask you all to take a deep breath, and take a little bit of a step back and hear me out.

A bit of backstory for you all here. When I was a small child, I enjoyed reading those "Great Illustrated Classics" books. You know, the ones where they took classic books, like Treasure Island, Moby Dick, and Dracula, edited them a bit to be kid friendly, and threw in awesome pictures every 20 pages or so. (Do they still even do those anymore? If not...I feel kind of old. But, not the point.) Well, as I mentioned Dracula on that list, I bet it's easy to see where my first exposure to Vampires was. Yup. I was probably around 7 or so when I read it, and I was very fascinated by the concept. As I grew older, I got more into various vampire-themed literature, tv shows, movies, universes, what have you. I got very into "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" during its last few seasons, and, thanks to my older brother, I now own most of the show on DVD. Well, the seasons that matter anyway.

Mostly, what I find interesting about vampires are the different interpretations various creators seem to take of the general lore, especially what features stay constant, and what features don't. I will admit, I'm a little behind on my vampire lore (all the history of Transylvania and Vlad the Impaler and what have you), so forgive me if I don't talk about that as much. In case you're not sure about the various changes and differences across stories, that's all right! Because I'm going to conveniently list and describe some of my favorite vampires in series' and some of my least favorite.

Since I already mentioned it before, I'll go ahead and talk about "Buffy" for a bit. It was an interesting series, with its good sides and downsides. General premise, for those who don't know it. Buffy is the Vampire Slayer (go figure...). Basically, in every generation, there is a single female known as the Slayer. She has all kinds of super strength, and general awesomeness. She uses her slightly superhuman powers to kill vampires, demons, and other general forces of darkness that threaten to overwhelm humanity. Oh, and she's usually a teenager. Sounds fun, right? Well, as the name would suggest, there are lots of vampires in this show. And, the vampires were certainly relatively standard. They are mobile during the day time, and can venture outside, as long as they remain covered by a thick coat, or a thick blanket or something. They don't have reflections in mirrors. They drink blood, but for the most part they can eat and drink other foods. And, they die from a stake to the heart, or beheading, or direct exposure to sunlight. They're also not very good friends with holy water and crosses. Not good friends at all. And, I think on a final note, you have to invite them into your house the first time, but, after invited, then can come in whenever. And they're pretty strong, so, a simple lock wouldn't do much to keep them out. There is a spell that can reverse the invitation though, in the event that you didn't want them in your house anymore. So, all in all, like I said, pretty standard vampires. And Buffy's a cult classic. It's a good show for someone who doesn't know a lot about vampires, but is interested in learning more. And, it's mostly fun for the whole family....kind of.

Next series I want to talk about, is the True Blood universe, in the original books for now, (I will potentially have a later post comparing the books and the show. Possibly). This is series that I have gotten into in the past few years. The original books, known as the Southern Vampire Series, and True Blood (the TV show) both operate under the same premise: the Japanese invented some type of synthetic blood. Because of that, the vampires have "come out of the coffin" and revealed their existence to the rest of the world at large. They argued that because of the synthetic blood, branded as True Blood, they don't need to drink human blood anymore, and are no longer a threat to humankind. In comes Sookie Stackhouse, the average waitress at a bar from Northern Louisiana, who just so happens to be a telepath. She meets Bill, a vampire, and is shocked (and quite happy) to discover she can't read his mind. From meeting him, she moves on to dating him, and then suddenly finds herself completely immersed in vampire culture and society, mostly because all the vampire important people want to use her ability to read minds for some reason or other. There are also other supernatural creatures in this universe, and, she gets involved in their problems too. There are a couple of interesting differences between the mechanics of the vampires: for instance, they are incapable of moving out during the day, if fact they're usually asleep, or, you know, dead, until the sunsets. Silver is also quite painful to them, though not necessarily fatal. And sadly, they can't eat any of our food.

There are several things I like about this series. For one: the vampires are publicly acknowledged as vampires. Everyone knows vampires exist. It creates a very interesting dynamic between humans and the vampires, for several reasons. On the one side, there's a more than slight allegory between vampires and homosexuals. Between the entire issue of vampires fighting for rights and acceptance in mainstream society, and the reaction several churches had to the vampires coming out (in the opening credits of the TV show there's a church that has on its sign 'God Hates Fangs.'), and, you know....the whole "coming out of the coffin" terminology.....yeah. Very clear allegory. There's an antagonist church that creates all kinds of trouble for the vampires, they're called the Fellowship of the Sun. They hate vampires and everything that vampires stand for. I won't tell you more about them, because that risks spoilers.
Further reasons the dynamic between humans and vampires in interesting: the issue of feeding. Let's be honest here...the vampires aren't going to completely rely on bottled blood for all of their blood needs. Several of the vampires in the series comment on how part of the thrill is the act of drinking the blood from the victim. That being said, there are all kinds of laws in place to prevent vampires from preying on humans: any biting has to be consensual, behind closed doors, and the humans must be legal adults. In case it wasn't obvious....vampirism, blood, and sex are very closely intertwined, and, sex between humans and vampires happens quite frequently. The desperate humans who seek it out are called 'fangbangers,' and the rest of modern society highly disapproves of the behavior.

Now, perhaps the most interesting thing about this series, to me at least, is the other dynamic of the relationship between humans and vampires. In this series, vampire blood has a very powerful effect on humans. When humans take vampire blood, it helps them heal any injuries they may have, gives them a bit more energy and strength, and also acts as an aphrodisiac of sorts, usually making them more attractive as well. Because of all this, vampire blood, in this universe, has suddenly become a very profitable, very expensive, and very illegal black market drug. The older the vampire, the more powerful the blood, but, sometimes people go crazy or die from the blood. Humans who capture vampires for their blood are known as 'drainers' and will usually get killed if they're caught by vampires, or if they lose control of the vampire they've captured.

Most of what I like about this series is the interaction and the social side of it. The vampires themselves are also not particularly interesting, but the way they conduct themselves in society, and all of the drama, wheeling and dealings that go on are very fascinating. Plus, the idea of vampires having things to fear from humans is another concept that is well thought out and well established in this series. There are some inherent differences between the books and the show. The show is a bit more........I guess insane would be a good word, than the books, but both are worth the time. However, if you don't like books or shows (particularly shows, as it's an HBO show) with copious amounts of sex in them (most of the books aren't bad), you should probably avoid this.

Another series I've been watching recently is the UK series Being Human. The most noteworthy thing about the vampires in this series, at least to me, is the addiction like aspect of vampirism. The show clearly portrays drinking human blood similarly to being a drug addict. The main vampire of the series actually tries to help his fellow vampires, at one point, go 'on the wagon' (yes, they use that terminology), just as he has done. He even creates an AA type group for them.

So yes, there are lots of ways to do vampires, in various series. And to me, most of them have their merits. My biggest problem with Twilight vampires, since, you know, I kind of have to mention it, is the whole sparkling issue. The fact that they're essentially made of diamonds, which is why they sparkle.....yeah....no....I'm not okay with this.

I leave you all with a final note. There are plenty of series out there that feature vampires in their universes, but the vampires are not *usually* the main focus of the plots. There are two that I will mention in particular, mainly because I will probably feature each of these series in a later post: The Dresden Files, by Jim Butcher, and both series from Cassandra Clare: the Mortal Instruments and the Infernal Devices.

So, that's one confession off my shoulders. I hope you all enjoyed it; I know I enjoyed writing it.

Angel out!

Sidewinder Production Update

Hey! So I bet you've been wondering what's going on with Sidewinder 2: Ecstasy of Gold! Well here's some tidbits we've picked up along the way, as well as some more pictures just for funsies.

And That's Shakespeare: Episode 7 - Romeo and Juliet

For the season finale, Jason and the stick figures present the classic tragedy - with a surprise twist ending.

show report - Young Man / Fanfarlo

Last night -- Fanfarlo and Young Man at U St. Music Hall in D.C. I hadn't actually heard of Young Man before. They're a Chicago-based band who as I understand it is mostly the project of lead singer, Colin Caulfield. And it's his voice that pulls together Young Man's overall flowing, bright sound. That voice is kind of reminiscent of Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend, only much more mellow. It's a good sound. Listen to "Fate," the first single off their forthcoming album Vol. 1 here:
Young Man - Fate by orchardmktg
Young Man's Vol. 1 is due May 22.

Fanfarlo got on stage and started off with a 20-minute sound check -- they broke down 50 miles from the District on the road from NYC, lost a lot of time and had to sound-check after Young Man's set. At least it was interesting enough just watching them go through their multitude of instruments. Electric violin, saxophone, trumpet, synths, drum pad, etc. Plus the usual guitars and vocal mics and the like. But no one actually cared about waiting around through the sound check because Fanfarlo's sound is ridiculously likable. And they did a great show.

If you've never heard Fanfarlo, imagine something like Arcade Fire crossed with Beirut. Or you could just listen to these: "Harold T. Wilkins, or How to Wait for a Very Long Time" from their 2009 debut Reservoir:


and "Shiny Things," from their second album Rooms Filled with Light, the album just came out last week:


About halfway through their set I noticed lead singer (and variously instrumented) Simon Balthazar was wearing pretty strange pants. The type you might describe as swashbuckling, or something. Unfortunately you can't tell from my awful iPhone picture:

This is the most clear of my phone photos from last night. Sad.

Disney Villains are Dumb and Unrealistic

Okay.  Just going to put this out there yet again, I love Disney.  I really really love Disney.  I have a lot of problems with Disney, but I really love Disney.  This week's tirade is regarding Disney villains.

One thing I have learned from life is that no one thinks of themselves as evil.  There is always justification for their actions, at least in their own minds.  No one goes out and thinks, "I'm going to cause havoc with the whole world... because I'm evil."  Even if they're plotting to take over the world, people don't think they're being evil.

This is why I have so many problems with Disney villains.  Some of them are great, but others openly acknowledge their pure evilness.  Jafar is my least favorite villain for this reason (although there are many other reasons why I dislike Jafar as a villain): Iago and Jafar blatantly refer to themselves as evildoers, and while I give Jafar points for creativity in his punishments and his punniness, that's not enough to redeem him as a valid villain in my eyes.

Scar and Gaston are by far the best villains.  Scar was only trying to reclaim his right to the throne, and in his eyes he would be a better king.  He did what he did for what he thought would be for the betterment of the kingdom, though later we find out that Scar is, in fact, a terrible king.  He is wise in making alliances, though makes the common mistake of mistreating them, and that realistically contributes to his demise.  Plus, Scar's song is AWESOME.  Let's be serious here, "Be Prepared" is probably the best villain song.  It has a totally different vibe from the rest of the songs, setting it apart and establishing that even though Scar might not be as powerful a villain as those with magical powers, he still has a commanding presence.

Gaston is my favorite villain of all time forever.  He is just so great.  Have I mentioned that I love Gaston?  Because I really love Gaston.  And here's why:  Gaston is just a mortal man, but he is cool enough that he can make every single person in the town fall in love with him.  I mean, he's an arrogant ass, but he's such a cool arrogant ass.  There's nothing special about him, which is why I love him so much.  He's not seeking power, he doesn't want to take over the world, he's just a dude living his life.  All he wants is a wife and kids, though admittedly his methods of acquiring said wife are shady at best.  Also his villain song is great, as well as the reprise (these things are important to me).  It's easy to sing along to, and it very much sets the tone of his villainy.  It's the same whimsical tone as the rest of the songs, because even the movie doesn't take Gaston seriously.

There have been other good villains in Disney's history, I admit.  The villain in Tangled, Mother Gothel, was very well done.  But for the most part, Disney falls flat when it comes to making realistic bad guys.

PinDippy

So once again I am writing this post filled with shame and groveling. Math midterms are nothing to sneeze at, however, and since I was suffering a repeat of that dreadful experience (I am terrible at math and must take every extra credit opportunity I can), I hope you will all forgive me whilst imagining the pain I was going through instead of blogging (which I would have much preferred to be doing.)

At any rate. It is now Spring Break, and although it is not really spring, the break is quite enjoyable. I have spent it eating delicacies like Yorkshire pudding and restaurant dim-sum, shopping for clothing at lovely cheap outlet stores, and playing terrible pranks on my best high school friends. I have also spent much-too-much of it reading Amelie Nothomb novels and watching Youtube videos. As you do.

Which Youtube videos, you ask? Well, that's what today's blog post is about, of course!

Jessie Cave isn't one of those actresses who is instantly recognizable to the general public, but she did manage to acquire some fame and fortune through her role as Lavender Brown in the last couple of Harry Potter movies. Harry Potter obsessee though I am, she was just a tiny speck on my radar until recently.

(This "recently" is when I got Twitter a couple of months ago. I love Twitter to bits -- much more than Facebook, actually, but that's another post. The point is, famous people I liked were following Jessie Cave, and so eventually I followed her too. I'm boring that way. Perhaps I should follow utterly random people sometime, just to be different...)

But here's the thing: she's really cool.

Last summer, she started a (website? business? organization?) thing called PinDippy. I do not know where the title came from, but I appreciate it. In fact, I appreciate almost everything about PinDippy, and it pains me just a little bit to realize that very few other people do too. But it also pains me to share it, because it would be quite nice to be part of the elite few who do know and love it. Oh, I'm not making sense, but I think my point is made...

PinDippy is... well, it is what it is. Jessie Cave says:

• I have collected buttons, stickers and random bits of felt (my favourite material) for a while now, and wanted to do something with them, give them a showcase. 
• I love colour, I love clothes – I love clothing with animals, polka-dots, big collars, small collars, shoulder-pads, socks, long socks, short socks, coloured tights, big dresses, small dresses… I could go on and on – but I wanted to use all of my clothes for something.   
• I am an actress in my not-so-daily-day-job, (some of you may know me from playing Lavender Brown in Harry Potter), but I wanted to release some of the characters that have been in my head and put them in front of a camera.
• I have written little scenes, inadequate chunks of attempted screenplays, overheard conversations in coffee shops and a diary for a long time, but this time I wanted to try and write a series of short scenes, or comedy sketches, with an aim to filming them.
• And I love drawing, and have always doodled. 
• All of these things combined amounted to something called Pindippy.

She has a Youtube channel which is absolutely fantastic. She has enlisted fellow Harry Potter actors to be in her video, including Evanna Lynch, Alfie Enoch, and Scarlett Byrne, and their presence is always a plus. She has a ridiculous collection of cardigans, pinafores, hair accessories, baggy dresses and more, which feature in almost every video. She doodles and dances and does accents. She has recurring character roles -- she plays Will n' Kate's official cake decorator, a snobbish Australian coffee-addict, and an awkward bookworm, just to name a few. There is such an enormous variety of people in her videos that I keep imagining her going out into London, talking the ear off every actor and actress she finds and convincing them into appearing in them. And the thing is, I don't think a single one of them regrets it.

It's just such a glorious confection of artsy wonderful. I've become an enormous fan overnight. My family doesn't agree -- my mother laughed politely at the video I showed her, and my sister now believes I have an utterly bizarre sense of humor (and I probably do) -- but I really think it's worth checking out. I'll leave you with my favorite PinDippy video. It's a perfect mix of wise whimsy and wackiness, and I don't know how many times I've listened to it so far.

Oh, and here are some more good links!

I don't enjoy (most) board games created by Fantasy Flight and I'm not quite sure why you do

Earlier this month, [Witty SciFi Pun] talked about a board game called Mansions of Madness. As much as many of my friends seem to enjoy it, I've never played this game and have no desire to try it. Maybe I should, since making judgments like that is generally a bad idea. But the familiar design elements, the relatively long play time, and the prevalence of tiny hard-to-read cards reminded me of three other games, all relying on similar game mechanics and all published by a company called Fantasy Flight Games. Throughout my years playing board games during college, I've made it a personal goal to understand what makes these games fun enough that other people would want to play them more than once. I have utterly failed.

Of the trio, I first came across Talisman, which bills itself as 'The Magical Quest Game.' This is the only one that is structured as most board games are, where each player plays for themself and there is only one winner. Since it was first released the 1980's, this game has been revised three times, which is amazing considering how unbalanced it still is. There are 14 playable 'heroes,' each based on a medieval fantasy archetype (wizards, sorcerers, and the like), one of which each player is supposed to select at random. However, since some of these heroes are much, much more powerful than others, we pitied whoever would be left with the weaker characters enough to let the players pick who they wanted to be. Each player's turn then proceeds by rolling a die and moving that many spaces to the left or the right (usually one of these choices is much, much better than the other) around whichever of the three concentric rings of the board they happen to be in. Most spaces require you to draw at least one, and probably several, tiny cards from one of numerous tiny decks, which contain items, monsters, random events, and the like. The monster battles are also based on dice rolls, and if a particularly strong monster that a given player can't defeat appears, it stays on the board to give migraines to all of the fellow journeymen. The positive consequences of defeating a monster and the negative consequences of losing to one lead to negative feedback loops for most players, and so the game often results in a Monopoly-like scenario where one or two players undergo a drawn-out victory scenario while the others keep drawing the same terrible cards and wait to be put out of their misery. All the while, the players' turns have very little relevance to each other - the leave-items-on-the-board mechanic is interesting, but the board is large enough where that rarely becomes a factor - that there's nothing really there to keep a player engaged until it comes back around to their turn, so most players pick up the discouraging habit of doing something else while playing this game. Even the people I normally play board games with at school leave this one alone, but apparently it's popular enough to go through four editions and quite a few expansions.

Arkham Horror is probably the most famous of the Fantasy Flight games, and is the one that I've played the most. Another remake of something out of the 80's, this is a purely cooperative game, where all players either win or lose together. The game's win conditions are so complicated that the owner of the game printed out flow charts to keep in the game's box. Like Mansions of Madness, it's set in a Lovecraftian world, and a random Elder God serves as a final boss which the players may or may not get a chance to fight. Each player plays as an 'investigator,' one of a somewhat large number of random denizens of the town of Arkham, Massachusetts who somehow got roped into trying to save the world. These investigators are given unevenly distributed abilities (sound familiar?) as well as two different types of health markers, stamina and sanity, which disappear easily and are far too difficult to recover. Each of the investigators then wanders around Arkham, either killing or sneaking past monsters in the streets (unsurprisingly, success in both cases is determined by a die roll) or visiting various buildings in the town, upon which the player draws a tiny card from one of a plethora of decks and preforms the action written on it (which also usually involves a die roll). The towns have icons by them that supposedly inform the player about what sort of events normally happen there, but their real purpose seems to be to taunt the player as they draw a card that tells them to lose their two remaining sanity. It's usually one player's job to go around 'sealing gates,' which involves being sucked into one of the 'other worlds' for a couple turns and letting random things that are slightly worse than normal happen to you. This game, more than the others, has a tendency to drag on and on and on - I was once witness to part of a game (thankfully not as a character) that lasted for six hours, seemingly because one new player made one dumb move. And the game depends on random luck enough that if the game resulted in victory, I didn't really do anything to help it get there - I just made the most obvious decision at each turn and hoped for the best.

Finally, there's Battlestar Galactica, ranked at an astoundingly high 18th place by the discriminating users of boardgamegeek.com. Unlike the other two games, this one doesn't have the excuse of being a remake of an earlier board game made by a different company. Each player plays as one of ten characters from the show that all have different abilities and weaknesses (sigh), and there are two teams: most play as 'humans,' but there are at least one or two 'cylons' (super-humanoid robots, for those who haven't seen the show) which are kept secret from the rest of the players (even some of the cylons don't know that they're cylons until halfway through the game). The goal of the humans is to prevent one of about five or six Bad Things from happening, some of which are difficult enough to counter without the cylons helping things along. Each turn, characters draw tiny cards (ugh) from two or three of five colored decks; each card performs one of two actions specific to that deck and a point value from one to five. The characters then travel around repairing their ship or dogfighting enemies or doing whatever their specific character is best suited to do. In order to accomplish almost anything of note, a 'check' happens, where all players discard as many cards as they choose. These cards are added to two cards of random color, mixed together, and have their point values added, where cards of some colors count positive and others count negative. Between the random cards and restrictions on what information individual players are allowed to reveal, any reasonably clever cylon can play his cards in such a way that it's impossible to figure out who the saboteurs are through reason alone. Maybe this game would be a lot of fun for people who really enjoy poker, but unfortunately, I don't.

To be fair, there are some other games published by Fantasy Flight which are much more enjoyable. Cosmic Encounter (or, as we like to call it, 'Dicks in Space') keeps the 'everyone gets uneven powers' mechanic, but affixes it to a pretty simple game that doesn't lean nearly as heavily on luck. Citadels, which [Witty SciFi Pun] also reviewed, is extraordinarily fun and completely different, though Fantasy Flight's relationship to the game seems to be limited to translating it and plastering ads all over the sides of the box. Overall, the fatal combination for Fantasy Flight games seems to be the long play time and the degree of the games' reliance on luck. While a little bit of luck can be a very good thing when it forces players to adapt their plans to new situations throughout the game, Fantasy Flight games rely so much on luck that any long-term strategic planning ceases to be valuable, so there is nothing to keep a player invested throughout the game's three-hour-plus duration. At the end of these games, whether I win or lose, I always feel like I didn't really do anything to deserve the outcome, and just kind of wish I spent the time playing something that's a little bit more interesting.

Oscar Opinions/Recap

Hey everyone, sorry for not posting last week I was superrr busssyyy! But check out my little rant about the Oscars!
(Yes, I'm still awkward).

Happy Tuesday!

All I Really Need to Know, I Learned From Diana Wynne Jones

I'm just going to lay this down on the table and force you all to stare at it awkwardly: Diana Wynne Jones was the greatest thing happen to children's fantasy literature ever. Not Rowling or Lewis or Tolkien or Carroll, but one chain-smoking grandmother with the heart of a storyteller. And while it's true that she died almost a year ago, this isn't a maudlin retrospective; it's a straightforward explanation of why she kicked more ass than a weird MacGyver, Chuck Norris and Mr. T hybrid.

Now, I grew up with the works of Diana Wynne Jones, and they were probably the best thing that happened to me as a child. Howl's Moving Castle, The Crestomanci Chronicles, even the obscure A Sudden Wild Magic were an indelible part of my development. Not just because they were good, immersive stories, though they were that. They didn't just entertain me, they changed me. Diana Wynne Jones was one of those rare, rare writers who writes well on every level. Her prose is crispy, her characterization and relationships are so believable they're a little creepy and her plotting is second to none. (Except maybe that of her close friend Robin McKinley. Or her other close friend Neil Gaiman. What I wouldn't give to have been an animate tea cup at one of those soirees...) More than that, though, she teaches through her writing.

Teaches, not preaches. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Clive Staples* Lewis. When I say "teaches", I mean "teaches useful life lessons that I still use to this day". And what were these lessons?

1. She told us we can't always trust adults. That's not something you tend to get a lot of in children's books. Even Roald Dahl uses adult figures in most of his books: Willy Wonka, the bugs in James and the Giant Peach, and the eponymous Big Friendly Giant. In a DWJ book, though, when things go pear-shaped and the grown-ups have already screwed up multiple times, you don't go running back to them for help. You do it your own damn self and pick the pieces up later, once everyone's done being retarded and threatened.
2. She teaches us that some rules are meant to be broken. Not in a silly Harry Potter "don't do this incredibly dangerous thing that's against the rules because it's likely to get you killed" sort of way, but in the "when you've got two choices and they both suck maybe you need to look for the third way out" way.
3. But, on the other hand, some rules are really, really, really not meant to be broken. Her worlds have a very low stupidity tolerance, and going over it tends to be fatal, or at least very, very bad. Rowling, I'm looking at you here.
4. Sacrifice is important. Jones grew up in WWII Britain, so this one she knew from experience. She doesn't romanticize it. She just has her characters do what needs to be done, whatever the coast. And if they can't or won't... well, it's not good. Putting the greater good above your own needs is a prevailing theme in her work. And not just in the here and now: her characters take the long view.
5. Family is family, even if you hate their guts. Like I mentioned above, Jones was a grandmother, so she knew how much family, biological or chosen, could suck. But, in the end, it's other people that make life worth living, and she knew that. And because she took the time to show it to us, so do we.

*True fact. Staples. No wonder he went by his initials. Probably got sick of people jumping out at him and yelling "That was easy."

The Reunion

Alright, So I am starting to write here.  Most of my posts will probably revolve around movies or wrestling.  I realize that the latter probably doesn't interest to many of you but I think it might get a few more hits on this happy blog and it might just start getting some of you all interested.  This first post will actually kind of mix both topics.

My first review here will be from production company WWE Studio and is called The Reunion.  Now what this means is that WWE wants to make DVD sales so they grab one of their most famous wrestlers and throw him into a film genre.  This time around we have John Cena and well he isn’t the best actor.

So the basis for this film is 4 siblings are brought together after there father passes.  They are to inherit money but, of course, there has to be a cockamamie scheme as to how they are to get that money and without that there wouldn’t really be a movie.  The scheme this time is that the 3 brothers must work together in a family business of their choice for 2 years.  Obviously, each brother is radically different from the others, so none of them can decide on anything except to help the Bails Bond brothers catch a bail jumper who happens to work for a drug Cartel.  So this film is a cup of comedy, a heaping of action and a dash of family drama all rolled into one.  My verdict is that this movie was worth more then I Am Number Four and it never even saw the big screen, it was a straight to dvd release.

Space Chimps Review

So, this week I watched Space Chimps...

Ugh...

Thoughts on Act of Valor

Music, Games, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Hey, travelers! Hmm... I think I have the Declaration of Independence beat in the title there. More like the DecLAMEration of LAMEpendence, am I right?! Uh, so yeah. Today's gaming article is going to be a topic piece about the function of music and games together, so let's hop to it, shall we?

Music in games got its start in the monotonic noises we call sound effects now, or incidental noises that came together in the whole experience to offer some auditory response to our simple in-game actions (e.g. Pong, Breakout, Tennis, Soccer). This eventually started to give way when arcades hit it big with games like Space Invaders, the first video game to use continuous looping background music, rather than music you only hear at startup, menu, or game transitions. In Space Invaders, they even increased tempo in proportion to how close the pesky aliens were. That fact is an incredibly essential distillation of the capabilities of music in games, that the qualities of the music make the experience of being attacked by a wave of zawmbeez in L4D so much more frantic, a necromorph experience in Dead Space heart stopping, and an SA-X stalking in Metroid Fusion the scariest thing ever. Generally, studies show the attacks of aliens, dead things, or some combination in video games isn't quite as heart pounding without some high tempo adrenaline shooting noise punctuated with silence just to make you more nervous.

While heart pounding, stress inducing, and cardiac arresting is the point of some accompaniment, feeling and atmosphere has become most important as fidelity and fascination with orchestration moved to the forefront. Did you know that the beloved Tetris theme was based on a Russian folk song named Korobeiniki? Great, I don't care. It's just the introduction to my next point: this orchestration and push for legitimacy in video game music started with the use of more serious source material like Russian folk songs. You see video game music being performed in concert halls (a favorite of mine being the 1942 theme in orchestra not quite a concert hall but whatever). When compositions from the real world entered the game, this raised the bar for music composers, who up to this point, had been pounding out catch MIDI bangers and not focusing on tone, arrangement, or any traditional musical qualities. "But Skyler," you say, "some of the most classic video game music came before this point!" "But, dear traveler," I say, "some of the most classic games came before AAA titles were even a thing." It's food for thought, which came first, the best music for games or the best music made for games? That's my question to leave you with travelers, what is your favorite video game music? Do yourself a favor and find more out about it, it's a deep world that spans from WAV files and orchestras, and I think it's worth a 30 minute visit.

And That's Shakespeare: Episode 6 - Much Ado about Nothing

In Which Beauty and the Beast is Overanalyzed

CakeVsDeath: you'd think it would be an easy choice, but sometimes I catch people off guard.  Usually I give them cake anyway, because I'm the Church of England a nice person.  Not that you'd be able to tell, because most (if not all) of my posts will revolve around me being a proper bitch.  I like to get angry at dumb things, which you will see if you keep reading after this mess of a post.  No matter how good a movie is, there will always be something I don't like.  I'm that guy who comes out of an award-winning film going, "Hey, wasn't that one minute scene a bit stupid?  Let me complain about it instead of praising its many merits."  So enjoy my rambling and prepare to have your mind blown by the nitpicky details that I will blow out of proportion!


In Which Beauty and the Beast is Overanalyzed

It's a well-known fact that Disney movies are the opposite of historically correct. Hercules? Really? The stories are exaggerated and the lessons they teach sometimes dubious (see: the Little Mermaid and her fixation on giving up everything to seduce a man she's only seen once, but that's a different story), but usually the premise makes some semblance of sense. This is not the case with Beauty and the Beast. Don't get me wrong, it's one of my favorite movies, but seeing it again in theaters made me realize just how many problems there are with the story as a whole.

My main problem lies solely in the beginning: it makes no sense. Not in the 'oh, fairy tales are so unrealistic' sense, but in practicality, it makes no sense. The prologue goes,

“Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young Prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, The Prince sneered at the gift, and turned the old woman away... The old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful Enchantress. The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there...The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose... would bloom for many years."

The first thing we see is a characterization of the prince. He's not a nice guy, obviously, so it would be great if he got what was coming to him. Several problems with that, though. Later, it is stated that the rose will bloom until his 21^st birthday. So already you know that he is at least several years younger than 21, but it still might be reasonable to hold a teenager accountable for his behavior. However, in the song “Be Our Guest” one of the servants, Lumiere, says that “ten years [they've] been rusting.” This would make the prince eleven years old when he was cursed. Now, I have no love in my heart for children, but is it really fair to snatch away a kid's adolescence, during which he could have had the chance to mature? Congratulations, enchantress, you have just ruined any possibility he had to grow up. Did you really think he was going to become a better person if you cut off his direct contact with humanity?

All humanity, mind, as he doesn't appear to have parents. This in turn raises the question of where on earth his parents are, because the Beast is specifically described as a prince and not a king. Are his parents missing and he doesn't want to admit they're gone? Are they on a diplomatic mission? Are they at war? If they had abandoned him, as seems to be the case, that might have left the prince with some psychological issues. It is simply human nature to be frightened or at least put off by someone with an unusual appearance, and while there is no arguing that the prince wasn't very nice to the woman, I cannot imagine anyone who would agree to take in a strange old woman just for a rose. A young boy would not see any value in a rose.

The enchantress also seems very short-sighted. She turns the prince into a beast to teach him a lesson, but she also lays this spell on the innocent inhabitants. People who had once had lives were now reduced to inanimate objects for no other reason than the fact that they are assisting this child whose parents seem to be out of the picture, and as we see later in the movie, are perfectly nice people willing to help a stranger out. They were not the ones who turned the woman away, but the enchantress either had a temper equal to the prince's or just didn't realize the consequence of her action, which in comparison seems much more offensive than the prince merely choosing not to shelter someone. She also didn't think of what the rest of the country would do without a royal family. No one in Belle's town seems to know where their prince was, and the town seems to be absolutely rife with corruption. Since it was a rural town the monarchs probably wouldn't have paid much attention to it, but what about the rest of the country? Maybe this is the true cause of the French Revolution: a bitchy enchantress throwing a hissy fit (What? It could happen...).


Also, did anyone else notice that in several scenes ("Be Our Guest" and the fight scene, to be specific) there are thousands upon thousands of dancing objects?  Put this together with the fact that every inanimate object is supposed to represent a real person, and you have a horde of servants attending to one man.  This is already impractical, but at the end when everyone is transformed to their old selves, there are definitely fewer than one hundred servants shown.  Not to mention Mrs. Potts' dozens of children we saw as teacups earlier, whom she appears to be content with keeping out of sight once they become real again.  If you're looking for a textbook example of favoritism, look no further.

As a side note, it's interesting that they never give the prince a name. He is either called the Beast or the Prince. One way to interpret this is that he has two different personalities: the Beast is something to be pitied, whereas the Prince is the arrogant one. Of course, Disney never makes this distinction; after The Little Mermaid spat on feminism they needed to make the male lead much weaker, apparently not even worthy of a name.

I love Beauty and the Beast, I really do. Despite all of my nitpicking, it's a fantastic movie with a great heroine and great music. But the whole time I was watching, I was thinking, “You know what? Being turned into a beast would make me pretty cranky too.”  

Board Games: Like Video Games, But With Boards

Ever since my first semester of college, board games have quickly become a favorite pastime of mine. They have provided me with great social experiences- I have become good friends with the people that I regularly play with, and the general atmosphere is relaxed yet enthusiastic. Which is somewhat strange, when you consider that a large amount of the board games involve some form or another of treachery or sabotage. Take Scrabble, for example- you had the perfect 7-letter word lined up, and all of a sudden someone blocks you off by placing “cat” right in the middle of where you were going to place it. But I haven’t played Scrabble in a while. The board games that I play are more strategy-oriented, and less well-known, than the board games that you commonly hear about. I could try and fit them into one broad category, but I may as well let them speak for themselves. So the following is just a small sample of the games that I like to play, and that you should play too:

Scotland Yard: I’ll start with a game that is rather easy to learn and pick up, yet fun all the same. Its rules are indeed quite simple: one person plays as the mysterious Mr. X, a dastardly criminal who comes with his own hat (seriously- this game comes with an actual cap for the player to wear), while up to five other players play as policemen chasing him down across the streets of London (aka the game board). Mr. X’s starting location is secret, and Mr. X moves in secret, only revealing his location a few times during the game. The catch, however, is that while the police may not know where Mr. X goes to, they will almost always know how he gets to those places- after each move, Mr. X denotes whether he took a taxi, a bus, or the Underground to get to his new location. Since certain modes of transportation can only go through certain locations in London, the police use these clues to help figure out where the criminal is and where he could go. This is a classic game of cat and mouse, and can get incredibly close towards the end. The suspense that this brings plus the simplicity of the rules make this game great for inexperienced players.

Mansions of Madness: Similarly to Scotland Yard, this game pits one player against a team of up to four others. In this game, however, the lone player is not running from his opponents; rather, they are trying to stop the other players in their tracks. See, this game is an RPG-lite: there is a dungeon (some sort of haunted house/estate, which makes up the game board), a dungeon master (the “Keeper,” who (mostly) dictates the mysterious happenings and monsters throughout the game), multiple different scenarios (one of which is chosen beforehand by the Keeper, deciding which game board tiles, items and story beats are used) and a bunch of heroes (a group of specialists who have been sent to investigate said house/estate for whatever reason provided by the scenario). Now, note the word “investigate”: the heroes do not start the game knowing what they must to do win, but instead have to collect clues scattered throughout the game board, unlocking locks and solving puzzles (which are done by solving actual, physical tile puzzles) along the way. The Keeper, on the other hand, knows exactly what they must do, but they cannot simply kill off all the heroes, as the Keeper has a special win condition of their own (which depends, like most of the game, on the chosen scenario). So yes, it is possible to have a game of Mansions of Madness where there are no winners. Oh, and I should mention that this all takes place within the mythos of horror writer H.P. Lovecraft, so the stories and designs of the game are inspired by his works, bringing a great atmosphere to the game. Considering that this game can sometimes take around 3+ hours to play, it is a great way to spend an afternoon, or even an evening, if you have the time.

Citadels: And now, for one of my favorite board games, which technically doesn’t involve any sort of board at all, funnily enough. Each player acts as a fantastical medieval-era noble, in charge of creating a city that’s better than any of the other players’ cities. They do this by constructing “districts”- cards that represent different buildings (manors, churches, taverns, etc.) or other features that a city might have, such as a park or a great wall. To build a district, you must pay a certain gold (in-game currency) cost, which is conveyed on each district card. After that district is built, however (done by placing the card face up in front of you), its cost now represents the number of points that it is worth at the end of the game. So one must find a balance between building low-cost districts to complete your city quickly (as the game ends once someone builds eight districts) and having districts that are worth more points. There are also special districts which provide certain bonuses to help you throughout the game. But in essence, this is all secondary to the main mechanic of the game: the different role cards and how they are chosen. Throughout the game, players will play as one of eight different roles: the Assassin, the Thief, the Magician, the King, the Bishop, the Merchant, the Architect, and the Warlord. These roles have certain powers associated with them: the Merchant, for example, gets an extra gold during their turn, and receives one gold apiece for each “green” district that is in their city at the time (as districts are categorized into different colors). Other roles, however, have more menacing powers- the Warlord, for example, can pay to destroy another player’s district, and the Assassin can choose a role to assassinate, causing whoever has that role to miss their entire turn. Note the wording of that last phrase; the assassin cannot name a player to assassinate, but rather a role. That is because these roles (which are themselves represented by cards) are constantly changing hands from round to round, and in each round there is at least one role that is not in play. Roles are chosen at the beginning of each round in secret, with the order of who picks their role first being determined by whoever last played as the King. After everyone has chosen their role, the roles get called out by the King in order, from the Assassin to the Warlord. Thus when a player chooses his role, they must not only consider what power works best for them, but also the actions of the other players- if you have a lot of “green” districts, for example, you may want to pick the Merchant, but on the other hand whoever picks the Assassin may want to assassinate the Merchant, wanting to stop you from acquiring the gold from those districts. Thus this leads to bluffs and double bluffs and a whole bunch of head games, which is as infuriating as it is ingenious. I’ve ended up writing a bunch more about this game than I ever expected to, but I just love it so much that I can’t help but gush about it. It just contains a bunch of hidden depth that I did not expect playing before playing it. There are a bunch of different game-winning strategies, and every game that I have played so far has played out differently. And I haven’t even touched upon the expansion, which includes a whole new set of role cards with their own powers. Seriously, Citadels is great stuff.

There are more board games that I’d love to talk about, but I don’t want this article to take up the whole page. So keep an eye out for future posts- there are countless board games out there, so it’s not like I’ll be running out of stuff to cover anytime soon.

Always Be Shuffling,

-[Witty SciFi Pun]